Who The Bloody Hell Are You?*

Lately I have been thinking recently about nom de plume: pen names. When people write using a name other than their own.

There can be many valid reasons to do this. Maybe you are afraid of being persecuted (such as Leon Trotsky). Maybe you were told your books would never sell if you used your real name (a la J.K. Rowling). Maybe you just have a really awful name (Anne Rice’s real name is Howard. Yes Anne/Howard is a female).

Other than these very valid reasons, I am unsure why people use pen names. Especially if what you are writing is neither earth-shattering nor controversial nor scandalous.

I am a believer that if you aren’t prepared to put your name on it, then you probably shouldn’t write it.

I have been thinking about this lately because I have been researching the rise of online reviews as one of the new forms of media. True, I am a part of this world – I write reviews and articles for WeekendNotes – but everything I write I put my name to. I do not write for anonymous review sites like UrbanSpoon and I would never comment on someone’s blog as Anonymous.

The internet is making us brave, but it is a false bravado, as the recent trolling scandal with Charlotte Dawson showed us.

One of the reasons I will never need to take a non de plume is because it seems that no one can get my name right anyway.

The very first time I was published in the state paper my name was printed as ‘Shannon Meyerkor’.

Then I had an article published in Offspring Magazine, and I was listed with the other contributors as ‘Shannon Meyerkart’.

Not to be outdone, The Australasian Dental Practice recently gave me my byline as ‘Sharon Meyerkort’.

So if I wish to remain somewhat anonymous on the internet, all I have to do is keep using my own name.

If you were going to use a pen name, what would yours be?

[*Apologies to the Tourism Australia]

The Brutal Truth About Making Money as a Writer?

Most people are too polite to ask, but it’s pretty clear after I mention to people I am a writer the second question they want to ask is “how much money do you make?” The first is usually ‘have I read anything you have written?’ which is difficult to answer because they are a complete stranger and I am not a mind-reader.

The money question is interesting and one that I wish I could ask of every writer I meet. Except I am too polite.

Because my earnings thus far are less than stellar (I’ll get to that later) I often find myself giving excuses like: ‘I just had a baby’ or ‘I only just started.’ Those reasons may have been valid for 2012, but now they are just excuses. The simple truth is that I have not written much that people are willing to pay for. It doesn’t mean I cannot write and it doesn’t mean I haven’t been published. It just means that the majority of work I have done thus far, has been unpaid.

It turns out I am not alone, and in fact, I am in stellar company.

If you are a parent, and even if you’re not, you may have heard of Amber Dusik.

No? Try Parenting: Illustrated with Crappy Pictures. This is one of the funniest blogs about being a parent that exists. It’s funny even if you don’t have kids. It is probably the best parenting blog. Even better than mine.

When Amber Dusik posts a story it immediately goes stratospheric.

Each post will received hundreds of comments. She has over 77,000 likers on Facebook. Every single post Amber puts on Facebook will be shared across the globe.

So it was with deep concern that I read a postscript to a post she wrote in early April imploring readers to buy her new book. I wasn’t concerned that she was asking people to buy her book, I have a copy and it’s awesome. What concerned me was this:

I’ve started getting a lot of emails, congratulating me about having “made it” and people assuming I’m making truckloads of money. … Contrary to popular belief I still haven’t gotten rich from it. … after paying my hosting costs, I managed to pull a profit in 2012. I made $131. For an entire year’s worth of work.

One of the world’s most well-known and successful bloggers only made a profit of $131 last year.

Then I attended a booked-out seminar by the Australian writer Steve Biddulph, author of Raising Boys. He told his audience that in the early days after his best-selling book was released in 1997 – (before they realised it was going to be a best-seller) – he told his sons that every time a book was sold, a twenty cent piece would roll toward the house.

Twenty cents for a book that took a year to write.

Talented Perth author Natasha Lester mentioned at the recent Perth Writer’s Festival that she receives about $3 per copy sold of her latest novel. This is an improvement on twenty cents, but still*.

What chance do the rest of us mere (writing) mortals have?

Writers write because they need to. No one walks out of school and says ‘I am going to be a writer and spend my life in abject poverty to pursue my craft’. Writing is a tough gig, and for 99% of us we can expect an income that resembles a postcode from New South Wales.

According to The Australian:

The average annual income of Australian writers has declined in the past decade from $23,000 to a character-building $11,000.

Personally, I would be thrilled with an income of $11,000 from my writing.

In the spirit of complete openness I can divulge that my total income since ‘becoming a writer’ in the three years since 2011 is around $3,000, and every cent of this has come from my articles and reviews written for WeekendNotes.

My blogs have not earned me a cent.

Writing articles for various online websites have not earned me a cent.

Even my articles published in national glossy magazines have not earned me a cent.

I came close though. When my ‘Dads and Miscarriage’ article was accepted by My Child Magazine I was told that their rate of pay was 50 cents per word, which for a brand-new freelancer, was a very substantial price. I had originally submitted 2,600 words to them and I could already hear the cha-ching of a decent pay-packet.

However, it was decided that they could only afford space for 800-900 words, and in return for their editors working on the article to bring it down to the necessary word-count I would not receive a writers fee.

Perhaps if I was an established writer with a bigger CV I would have been in a position to argue with this decision. But the simple truth was that I needed them more than they needed me. I needed this run on the board, and if it was going to cost me $400 then so be it. I got to see my name in print but I did not get paid for it.

Bloggers can put advertising on their websites, and earn anywhere from a few dollars to a few thousand dollars per month. Sponsorship and paid reviews is another way to earn money, but again, it is personal choice of the blog owner and some – like myself – don’t do it.

I write this not for pity, just candour. Like most writers, I write because I love it. I don’t plan on staying below the breadline with my craft forever. I just think it is an interesting issue, and explains why so many of our top writers (and actors and artists and playwrights) have ‘day jobs’ to support themselves while they pursue the craft they love in their ‘spare time’.

What is your true love and what do you do to earn a living while you pursue it?

2019 Update: good things come to those who wait. For example Natasha Lester is now a New York Times Bestselling Author and I am making a five-figure income (just) on my writing every year between prize money, sponsorship/advertising, royalties and other writing income. Not quite there yet, but at least I’m headed in the right direction.

I Write, Therefore I Am

Tonight I went to the first Perth catch-up of the Australian Writers’ Centre. It was rather late notice, but 22 Perth writers found themselves in the middle of the city on a Friday night, in a reluctant circle, drinking wine.

We were a mixed bag. Young, old, novelists, ex-journos, bloggers. Published, unpublished. Enthusiastic. Jaded.

Like kids on the first day of school we went around the group introducing ourselves. I was first. I hate going first, but it’s better than going last, where you cannot focus on what others are saying because you are too concerned about what you are going to say, and not sounding like a complete moron.

One man observed it was ironic there was a public speaking component in a writers get-together. For many of us, we write because we cannot speak. For others, it was an opportunity to talk. A lot.

For the rest of us, peering around the room at our peers it was an opportunity to come up for air, get out from behind the solitude of the computer screen and interact in the world we write about. Hands were shaken, business cards swapped.

What we all had in common, apart from a distaste for travelling to the city, was a reason for being.

We were writers.

The only qualification you need to be a writer, isn’t a qualification at all. You don’t need a university degree to be a writer. You don’t need to be published to be a writer. You don’t need to earn a living to be a writer. (These things do help though).

You merely need to write.

I still stammer sometimes when I tell people I am a writer. I trip over my words, like I am a small child playing make-believe. ‘I am a princess,’ my three year old tells me, merely because she is wearing a plastic tiara. She believes it, so she is.

I write, therefore I am.

Welcome to my new blog: a writers blog. If you’re interested in being a parent maybe head to Relentless or if you like food then taste a bit of Meat, Three Veg and a Bottle of Wine. But if you are interested in the art of writing, then stick around… maybe you can teach me something.